Romper Suburbia

This morning, at the bus stop, a man approached me, about 60 or so. Retiring age, at least, which is what makes sense given the rest of our conversation.

He asked me all about the bus that I was about to catch.
"Where does it go?"
"Where does it stop?"
"What are the nearest train stations? How long does it take to walk there? Is there a bus that goes in the direction of the trains?"

I was perfectly happy to submit to this inquisition, as I was only standing, listening to my iPod. I must admit, I was slightly curious as to why he was asking all these questions though, but he answered that question for me shortly.

"You see, I'm looking to move in to this neighbourhood and I'm doing a bit of research to see what it is like."

A flurry of questions as to the nature of the suburb erupted.

"What is it like, living here?"

It's nice. A good community atmosphere in the township.

"Is it quiet?"

Yeah. Usually, although the docks keep me awake sometimes. You get used to it.

"What type of people live here?"

Old and young. The people here are either yuppies or pensioners. But I didn't tell him that. Old and young is good enough for yuppies and pensioners, right?

"So, no kids?"

Yeah, not many kids. I was later told off by mum for neglecting to tell him about the group of mothers who prowl in packs around the area. Did I say 'prowl in packs'? I meant 'go walking in a communal group'.

"So,"

He says this as he leans towards me, away from the Asian couple also waiting at the bus stop.

"Are there many Asians living around here?"

He's leaning in now, like we share some great Anglo secret. I look at the Asian couple. They are completely unaware of what has just been said. Or rather, what has just been implied.

Yeah. A few 'Asians' live around here, I say. I wish I'd said more. At the time, truth be told, I thought I better not go into political correct vitriol mode as there could be a perfectly acceptable reason for him asking such a question. A perfectly acceptable reason? What tripe.

No, Mr. Retiree here is a class A racist. Not only are Asians inferior to him, all anglos must share some implicit bond that permits him to ask offensive questions of them like they share some great aryan bond.

Mr. Retiree asks a few more questions, thanks me and moves on.

I just get on my bus. Ugh.